Usual Sunday Crisis

She doesn’t even know what day it is. 

The days go by slow but the weeks go by fast. All of a sudden it’s April and everything is green and where did Winter go? I’m not mad, I hate the cold. But I also hate the heat. I can always find a way to complain about the weather.

I don’t like Sundays because it means Monday is coming and I have a hard time focusing on the present. The weeks do go by fast, though. Next Sunday will be here before we know it and I’ll be saying this again.

Does anyone actually like their job or are jobs just a means to end? I think about this every Sunday. I’m not trying to be “spoiled millennial cynic supreme” here. I value my job and I’m lucky to have it. I’m just curious. Do you like your job? I’m just wondering.

I’m always wishing I was doing something else. Looking for a new job reminds me of when I was still dating. I’d toy with the idea of meeting someone new until they actually showed interest and then I’d get skittish and back away. I got an email about a job I applied for when I was feeling bold. Give me a call about the position, it said. I didn’t call them. And I think, maybe I am fine where I’m at. But then again, I wouldn’t be in a serious relationship now if I hadn’t accepted an offer. Maybe I should call them back. Put myself out there again.

Every night before going to sleep, I say “Tomorrow is (insert day of the week here)” as a verbal affirmation that the week is passing and the weekend is closer. I think I should stop doing this so the weekdays don’t get such a bad rap. It’s not Monday’s fault my attitude could do with some adjusting sometimes. I spilled Diet Coke all over myself on Friday once and the first thing I thought was, what is this, a Monday? Every day of the week can be annoying I guess.

Actually, I lied. Mondays are the worst. And I still have like six hours of Sunday left. Gonna eat some candy and read a book I’ve been trying to finish since November/watch makeup tutorials/get some points reviewing some Fritos or something (see last post).

But for real, should I call them back about that job?







Free Makeup On My Face

Quick very important life update: I recently created an account on Influenster, a place where you can review things and they send you things to review and it’s really cool if you like reviewing things.  I’ve reviewed Cheez-Its. I’ve reviewed H&R Block. Nothing is off limits for a reviewing sesh. God, I love a good reviewing sesh.

I got my first free box this week and it was great because I forgot it was on the way and then I saw it by my door and it was exciting! This box was called the Poppy VoxBox. I still don’t know what that means but it sounds like a speaker or something to me. Anyway.

It came with lots of things, including some lip gloss and eyeliner from Rimmel (deets below on names and stuff). I’m not a huge fan of lip gloss (sticky sticky) but new eyeliner is always welcome in my home. The lip gloss was Tang orange so I decided to just go citrus central with some orangey-gold eyes and lots o’ coral blush.

I actually liked the lip gloss a lot! I wore it over lipstick here, but would def wear it on it’s own for a more toned down look. It feels really nice on and doesn’t make you feel like you have glue on your mouth. The eyeliner was a disappointment, though, because when I first opened it I thought hell yeah this going to be a cheaper version of the (holy grail) Kat Von D ink liner. But not so much. It did that flakey thing liquid eyeliner sometimes does and it just got real annoying after awhile. So I went in with the KVD to fix it up. Oh well!

Here’s what’s on my face: 

L’oreal Magic Anti-Redness Correcting Primer

Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Concealer in Light

Milani Baked Blush in Luminoso

E.L.F. Finishing Powder in Fair/Light

E.L.F. Illuminating Pallette

Here’s what’s on my eyes: 

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion

Urban Decay Naked Pallette – “Naked” all over lid

NYX Hot Singles Eyeshadow in “LOL” in inner and outer corner of upper and lower lid

Maybelline Color Tattoo Pure Pigments in “Wild Gold” on center of upper and lower lid; a little in inner corner

Rimmel Scandaleyes Precision Micro Eyeliner in “Black”

Kat Von D Ink Liner in “Trooper”

Tarteist Lash Paint Mascara

Here’s what’s on my lips: 

Revlon Super Lustrous Lipstick in “Siren”

Rimmel Oh My Gloss! in “Orange Mode”


When you hate country music, but love Connie Britton

My favorite thing to do when searching for a new TV show to watch is to completely disregard any recommendations made to me (Westworld, I know, I know – catch up on Black Mirror, I know, I know) and choose something that I should hate, but will undoubtedly love.

Enter: Nashville. I should hate this show. A show about rival country music stars…set in…Nashville. To be honest, I’d rather listen to 10,000 mewling feral cats than hear one minute of country music, but Connie Britton is a goddess and every character she plays is basically Tami Taylor (goals) so I thought why not. Also, I love #DRAMA and #ROMANCE and #TORMENTEDMUSICIANSWITHMYSTERIOUSPASTS. It will also provide me with even more material for my budding career as a parody country music songwriter. For those of my friends who have been lucky enough to hear my hit song “White T-Shirt V-Neck,” hold on to your solo cups because I’m already working on my new track, “Rhinestone Dream Girl.”

I’m 6 episodes in and so committed. I don’t even care that the country accents are downright disrespectful in their accuracy. Earth to Hollywood, southern accent does not equal “Alabama Aristocrat with a splash of Scarlett O’Hara” (although I am very on board with this in the right context a.k.a. time period). Hart of Dixie is the worst about this, too. I couldn’t even make it through two seasons of that. Here’s hoping Nashville fares better with my high standards for trashy television.

What’s your favorite show that you think I should watch that I definitely probably won’t watch? And yes, I have seen This Is “CRY BITCH CRY” Us.

[Also: can I reference a Friday Night Lights character in every blog post? Stay tuned]

Real Estate

You ever think about what it would be like to own a bunch of land? Just for the hell of it. Hello everyone this is my land. My plot of dirt and trees and it’s just so…much…land. Like Tim Riggins buying all that land and then going to prison and then getting out of prison and still having all that land. *Tim Riggins voice* Land is forever.

I googled “real estate north carolina” this morning because I was curious. “Wow, that’s some prime real estate” is something I’ve always wanted to say. But I didn’t say it because I was at work and how weird would it be to hear that coming from someone’s cubicle. I also don’t really know what prime real estate is. Is it pretty? Is there a lot of it? Is it cheap?

I grew up on land. Land that had sugar cane so my grandpa could make molasses and then land that was just a field because my grandpa stopped making molasses. He used to hand me a sugar cane stalk to chew on and it was sweet and I felt so cool chewing on a sugar cane stalk. It felt like something Anne of Green Gables would do.

I’ve been living in Raleigh for almost ten years now  (which is insane because I was literally just a baby-faced 18 year old in an American Eagle hoodie and flared jeans). Raleigh has land but it’s not Tim Riggins land. Raleigh has the kind of land where you live close enough to walk to bars with punny-named pizza and beer, but you’re 25 minutes from a Target. The closest Target to me growing up was an hour away. I wish Target was >10 minutes away from me now. I wish I lived in a Target.

This wasn’t even supposed to be a city vs. country type of thing. This was supposed to be a “why am I tens of thousands dollars in student loan debt looking at real estate??” thing.

I will reside in a shoebox forever. Prime real estate.










I’d like to take this moment to thank winter storm Helena for giving me time to play with makeup again and catch up on Downton Abbey and clean my apartment in ways I never knew it could be clean (I mopped!)

I’d also like to take this moment to say “Die Helena” because I didn’t get to see my bf this weekend and will probably bust my ass walking to my car in the morning.

Anyway, back to the makeup. I started out with the intention of being very ice queen (or regular queen with hypothermia). It ended up sort of looking like that, but a was little more intergalactic than I wanted. Whatever. So I thought, what the heck let’s try this with a matte pinky/red lip and see if we can thaw things out.

(After I finished this face I realized that I totally missed the chance to do a MCR inspired “Helena” look. Oh well).

Deets below if you care.

Foundation: L’Oreal True Match in Classic Ivory
Concealer: Kat Von D Lock-It Tattoo Concealer in Light
Contour: L’Oreal Infallible Pro-Contour in (you guessed it) Light
Blush: NYX Baked Blush in “Chiffon”
Highlight: Essence Soo Glow! Cream to Powder Highlighter in “Look on the Bright Side” + NYX Illuminator in “Enigmatic”
Eyes: Too Faced Chocolate Bon Bons Pallete (“Divinity” over entire lid, “Earl Grey” in outer and inner corners of top and bottom lids, “Cafe Au Lait” on middle of lid) + The Body Shop Eye Shimmer on inner corners
Liner: NYX Collection Noir Liquid Black Liner
Mascara: Tarte “Tartiest Lash Paint Mascara”
Lips: Melt Cosmetics matte lipstick in “Space Cake” with Lipstick Queen’s “Hello Sailor” and The Body Shop Eye Shimmer on top; Marc Jacobs lip creme in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”


Do You Wanna Know All The Jobs I’ve Had Because I’m Gonna Tell You


I worked in a warehouse for a company that sold GPS tracking devices and those little emergency responders that old people use when they’ve fallen and they can’t get up. By warehouse I mean a large room with access to a loading dock. I didn’t hate this job because I was up doing stuff for most of the day and I liked sliding 200 pound boxes across the room and hurting my back because I will die before asking for help. Pretty funny considering I worked for a company that exists to help people. Anyway. I also liked testing the emergency alert devices because I got to press the button and the dispatcher would say, “Hi, Mrs. Eunice Peabody? Are you okay?” And I’d be like, “I’m just testing the device!” And they’d respond, “You’re just testing the device?” And I’d be like, “Yep, just a test!” Sometimes I would do this literally all day. The company was bought out eight months after I started.

I worked in the Registration and Records office at my alma mater and it began as a temp job where I just scanned a bunch of files all day. I did that for a few months and they were like, “Hey, wanna work at the front desk?” And I was like, “Yeah, sure.” By the way, I don’t know if you know this, but parents are the worst. Have you ever tried to reason with a mother whose grown child has made a mistake that affects their education? M’am, I am so sorry that your son is an idiot and dropped a class he’d already failed twice and now he’s crying to mommy. I really am so sorry about that, m’am. God, parents are the worst. I was way unhappy at this job and I would cry in the bathroom sometimes like a real drama queen. Not sure if it was the parents or just other stuff I was unhappy about at that time. I was there for almost two years.

I worked as a nanny one summer for my two cousins. At the time they were 7 and 9 I think. Now they are legit teenagers and I feel OLD. I think I said “Shhhh I’m reading” and “Please don’t make a mess” and “Okay one more game” a lot and we just went to the pool pretty much every day. Ugh I was so tan that summer. Ugh I feel old. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

I worked at a hospitality company helping the ‘Corporate Director of Legal Affairs’ with a filing project. This was my first job out of college and I had zero standards. But it was okay. I like to organize and color code and figure out what goes where and hang on, adding ‘what goes where’ to my specials skills on LinkedIn. Most of what I remember about this job is how I would nap in my car every day during lunch. What a great time in my life.

I’ve worked in two law offices, but I couldn’t even tell you the difference between the two because if you’ve worked in one law office you’ve worked in them all. *lights cigar* There’s something about a law office that just completely drains you. A funeral home is more inviting than a law office. They just suck the life right out of you and I know you think I’m exaggerating but I’m not!! I was a receptionist at one of these places and one Friday they just go, “We won’t need you to come back on Monday. You are great, but we’re just making some changes internally.” This happened on my birthday. They gave me the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech ON MY BIRTHDAY. I knew it was coming because that’s the life of a temp, but still. On my birthday. Every once in awhile, though, I’d get free lunch if there were leftovers from a client meeting so that was pretty cool.

Two weeks after the law office broke up with me (on my birthday) I got my current job and I actually really like it. So screw you, law office! I’m better off without you anyway! But… like…call me sometime?



Dear Die-ary: My bed looks like the mom from Grey Gardens’ bed

Dear diary,

Do you see this? Do you see this bed? My bed looks like this a lot. My bed looks like Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale’s bed. I am so afraid.

grey 2
That shawl, tho.


Let’s start from the beginning. I had breakfast this morning at The Flying Biscuit with my mom and my brother and it was just super great (obvi) and then we went to Whole Foods and judged the dads buying grass fed mac and cheese for their families and then we also bought a big pile of cheap NC State shirts. (What in the actual heck is grass fed mac and cheese by the way and why is that something that we need as a society)

Real quality Sunday morning.

After I got home I was in the mood to veg. I mean, I’m always in the mood to veg but I wanted to, like, hardcore veg. I wanted to veg so hard that I decided to watch Grey Gardens because of course I did.

Grey Gardens is a documentary filmed in 1975 or some time like that about Edith and (her daughter) Edie Beale (a couple of Jackie O’s cousins). They lived in the East Hamptons in this worn down mansion with a bunch of cats and some raccoons that they leave piles of bread out for every night.

These women were next level eccentric and I was immediately obsessed. Especially with Edie. She wears wraps around her head the entire time, most with little broaches pinned to the top. She doesn’t really talk about why she does this but sometimes gray hairs will peek out so I think she does it to cover up her age. Amazing. My fave scene with her is when she’s reading this horoscope book and begins to ramble about how much she needs a Libra man. She’s like, “All I have to do is find this Libra man….that’s all I need. An ordered life. Ya know a manager…but he’s got to be a Libran.” And she reads with a freaking magnifying glass!! God, I just love her.

grey gardens
Too real. 

At one point they get in an argument because the mom wants to lounge naked on the deck, but Edie doesn’t want her to because of the cameras and the mom goes, “Why, I ain’t got any warts on me!” I can’t wait to be old and naked and shouting about warts one day.

They argue a lot, actually, but about the dumbest stuff. Half of the documentary just shows them both singing and then arguing about the singing and then reminiscing about singing and arguing about reminiscing about singing.

When they’re not singing they’re arguing about Edie’s spinster status. Edie was never in love with any of the men that asked her to marry them. The only man she did really like was some guy named Eugene (I think). But her mother didn’t like him and Edie goes on a rant about how she could never love a man who wasn’t passionate about music and that’s why it never worked out with the “stock brokers and tennis players.” I have this same convo with my mom on the reg, so I totally feel you girl.

I was so fascinated by these women, but also felt mega sorry for them. How do you let things get so bad that all you do is live in one single room in this giant house…just thinking about the past all day. They were both top of the totem pole, socialite bombshells in their prime and that’s all they had.

And now I’m back to the part where my bed mirrors Edith’s bed minus the filth and ten more cats and is that my future??? Am I doomed to a life of just staring at all my old selfies and complaining about how boring stock brokers are and singing my favorite ballads (Mariah Carey, probably) to a film crew???

I cleaned my room immediately.